Benching Fantasy

Why I’m no longer playing fantasy football

It’s harmless. It’s just a bit of fun. We all think we can do it. We all think we can win it. Fantasy football, played by millions, for all of us who think they can spot a hot streak, pick a differential and know where to maximise clean sheet potential, with a mix of goals.

I’ve just had enough.

I’ve had highs, topped leagues (for at least two weeks), beaten friends on a weekly basis and let them know via text.

My greatest achievement? Back in 2009 Jermaine Defoe scored 5 against Wigan and was my captain for the weekend. Trebled my score in one weekend with one player the stuff of fantasy football dreams!

However, enough is enough.

Twenty plus years and I’m hanging up my imaginary tactics board.

Partly because it’s left fantasy and stepped into reality. Articles, podcasts, influencers all telling you how to win, telling you how to maximise your points and when to play those little bonus chips. It feels like there are cheat codes out there for us all if you want to seek them out.

Partly because when outside influences get involved, it gentrifies the space. Much like your local town is filled with coffee shops all with the same type of aesthetic, the fantasy space contains multitudes of Haaland led teams. We all have, or have had, Haaland as striker. Well maybe not all, but the percentage is huge, partly because he’s a goal machine, but also because the outside noise tells us he is an essential purchase. It feels like years back people had not just the lauded differentials but individuality. Even clever team names are replicated to death these days. Gone are the days of your team not featuring players from a rival side, no matter how good their form was. They play for <insert team> they are not in my side.

Which leads me to the real reason.

I’ve mentioned before about my Newcastle fandom and it’s drop off in recent times. I am more and more convinced that fantasy football had a role to play. It was subtle but, your team winning used to be the most important thing. I lived for watching, listening to and checking results for Newcastle. I’m sure that this modern era of fandom has produced those who are fine with a loss on a Saturday if they reap the benefits in the fantasy game over a weekend. A nil nil draw and a clean sheet for your team against and in form Haaland who you have triple captained? Tough to take.

Part of fandom is tunnel vision, for better or worse. The feeling that your team is the best, your team was robbed, your team are world beaters. It’s harder to feel that way when you have an interest in a spread of teams and their results.

I know this is true, I’ve been on the terrace, at a game and checking scores to see how it affects my imaginary team, while my actual team are playing right in front of me!

Fantasy football is fun and a longstanding institution within the game, but my decision to stop engaging has already changed how I view things. I’m more engaged with what is happening in front of me rather than caring what might be happening elsewhere. I’ve felt a pull back towards Newcastle as a club. The opening weekend game against Liverpool, sucked me back in. The noise, the Keegan tribute, the booing of a returning Isak, the loss of players and the feeling of being under-rated again. I was also very aware that no other game mattered, or at least captured my attention in the same way.

Some people may feel this is nonsense. That the separation of reality and fantasy is no issue for them on a Saturday. Fair play if that’s you, but if you’ve captained Haaland as he faces the team you love this weekend, maybe it’s time to ask whether it’s fantasy or reality you enjoy more?